Let’s Go Back, Back To The Oscars 2016

Hey hey headbandits!

Sorry for the lame title. It’s a rip on The Laguna Beach opening song by Hilary Duff.

I’ve been meaning to do this post forever and I know the Oscars were forever ago but I  want to catch up.

Did you watch?? I know it was back towards the end of February.

I watched most of it. I thought Chris Rock did great. I wasn’t sure how he’d do or react to some of the stars who wanted to boycott it since not a lot of blacks/diversity were nominated. I guess mainly Jada Pinkett Smith was the person who caused the drama. He surprised me. I thought he’d agree with her but he basically said there’s more important things to complain about regarding black lives/diversity. He called her out too. It was funny like basically saying she was complaining because her husband wasn’t nominated. “Jada said she’s not coming. I was like, ‘isn’t she on a tv show?’ Jada’s gonna boycott the Oscars? Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited!”

I don’t have a super long list of best dressed actually. I guess I wasn’t super impressed.

Here’s who I thought were the very best:

I thought Cate Blanchett was hands down the best dress. I loved her Armani dress. It’s one of my favorite colors and the flower details are spot on. I  was surprised she didn’t win best actress for Carl though.

88th Annual Academy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, America - 28 Feb 2016

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (5599371dd) Cate Blanchett 88th Annual Academy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, America – 28 Feb 2016


I absolutely loved Gaga in Brandon Maxwell. The dress over pants is so cool and modern. She looks great.



Saoirse Ronan looked amazing too in Calvin Klein Collection. I love the sequins and color. I like that she wore her hair down. She looks cool,young,and modern. I thought she would win for Brooklyn but she didn’t. I guess she’s actually from Ireland so she wanted to wear that color of her dress and her earrings were for Ireland too. I think one was white and one was green. It’s good to see her acting again. I didn’t see her in the Lovely Bones but I remember she was nominated when she was younger.




Here are some other dresses I liked:

  1. Daisy Ridley in Chanel. I’m not even sure who that actress is but I am always a fan of Chanel.
  2. Giuliana Rancic in Georges Chakra. She looks effortless. So simple. I think it would have even looked better with the flower details on the side gone.
  3. Julianne Moore always looks great. I love this Chanel dress.
  4. Margot Robbie in Tom Ford.
  5. Maria Menounous in Christian Siriano. I love the beading and shape. It’s very Gatsby.
  6. Olivia Munn in Stella McCartney. I love the color and simplicity of it.
  7. Rachel McAdams in August Getty Atelier. She looks young and fresh.



The only movie I saw that was nominated was Creed. I’d never seen any of those other Stallone movies but it was actually really good. He won the Golden Globe for best supporting actor, which I thought was cool.

I wanted to see Brooklyn and Room. I didn’t get to them yet. Room looks intense though. Brie Larson won best actress for it. She looked so familiar to me the whole time I was watching the show and I couldn’t figure it out. She was in the first 21 Jump Street. I think that’s cool that she won after that.

Actually, I did see Revenant right after the Oscars. I watched it with a friend. It wasn’t my cup of tea. It’s definitely a period piece. It was good just not my favorite kind of movie. I thought it was funny that Leo finally won an Oscar for this movie when he doesn’t really talk in this movie at all. It’s a bunch of grunting and what not. He’s just like, give me the Oscar already. haha! I thought he had better performances but good for him for finally winning one!

I started watching Hateful Eight one night too but it was so boring to me. The exposition was way too long. I think it’s 3 hours long. All of those Tarantino movies seem to have the same theme with bounty hunters and he uses the same actors a lot. I just recently saw Pulp Fiction and Django Unchained and those were really super good. Pulp Fiction blew my mind but again it had some of the same actors/bounty hunter theme. I just couldn’t finish or get into Hateful Eight.

Who did you like at The Oscars??



spades forever!

stay fabulous!



*All of the images I found on Instyle.com

Busy Week in Fashion-Met Gala ‘Manus x Machina’,Audrey Hepburn’s Birthday, and Kentucky Derby

Hey guys!

Sorry I’ve been MIA. I can’t even remember my last post. I will hopefully catch up soon.

I want to do an Oscar’s recap. I know it’s a bit behind, but better late than never!

I hope life’s been treating you beautifully. It’s warmed up quite a bit in the Pacific Northwest…where I live. It’s been in the 60-80s since about the end of April. Summer has hit early…maybe. Sometimes it will snow in June. No surprise though.

The first week in May was a pretty busy week in fashion. We had the Met Gala last Monday (The 2nd), Audrey Hepburn’s birthday was the 4th (Wednesday), and The Kentucky Derby was Saturday, I believe (May 7th).

Audrey would have been 87. I did a post on her a few years ago. I will try to find the link. If not, type in “Audrey” on my site and it should come up. I would have worn my Audrey shirt, but I’m moving and can’t find it. I think I wore polkadots that day. As many of my headbandits remember, I just love Audrey. Her grace and effortless inspires me. She is the epitome of chicness and style. She did a lot to help people too. She was an ambassador for UNICEF.

Hopefully I can do a recap of The Kentucky Derby too soon. I haven’t even looked at the fashion coverage yet, but I will.  I did a post year about what I would wear if I went. I’ve always loved this event because, as any hair accessory lover will know, that’s what it’s known for! The bigger the hat, the better. It looks so fun. I just want to go for that reason. haha! I know nothing about horse racing.

Ok, and now to what this post is mainly about: The Met Gala. Besides The Oscars, this is probably the main event for the fashion world. It’s this event that raises money for The Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art (MET) in New York. It’s followed in proportion with the opening of the new costume exhibit (from my understanding). I want to go so bad! I guess the tickets are super pricey though. That’s mainly why it appears celebs are there.

I haven’t seen the exhibit yet or researched it. I’m not sure if there’s a way to look at it online, but the theme this year was “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology.”

I guess it could be interpreted in a lot of different ways, but when I hear it, I think of all the 3D printing going on now and things of that nature. That is huge right now and how you can design/make your own printed fabric with computers.

I wasn’t really impressed with the dresses this year. There was a ton of silver glittery ones and they looked more Gatsby to me than technology. Maybe they were going for a futuristic vibe? A lot of them just seemed to be gowns that could be going to any red carpet.

There was only really a couple that, I thought, stuck to the theme. You don’t have to dress to the theme but it is highly encouraged and I think more fun that way.

The only one that stuck to the theme for me, was Kate Hudson.

She wore Altelier Versace and it looked like it had 3D printed designs on it. I’m not sure how they were made, but to me I totally got the dress with the theme of the event. I loved the dress too. She’s done a couple white moments on the red carpet and always look chic in them.



I thought Emma Watson stayed true to the theme too. It wasn’t exactly my favorite look. I did like it but I didn’t love it. She’s doing the pants over dress thing again. I think that is so cool. I did that  as a kid in the 90s. Other kids didn’t get it. They would ask me why I was wearing a dress over pants. It was trivial to me. I would be like, well why are you wearing a shirt with pants?? haha! kids!  Glad to see it’s coming back. I was totally ahead of my time! Lady Gaga did it at the Oscars too…oh her white Atelier Versace gown/pants combo was stunning.

Oh wait, Gaga wore Brandon Maxwell to the Oscars. It looks a lot like Versace or Armani Prive.

Back to Emma Watson, her dress was Calvin Klein Collection but I read it was made out of garbage. I think water bottles and stuff. I think that is where fashion is going too with the “going green” and recycling bit. A lot of people now are into that and especially for fashion. It helps the planet but also makes them feel good, I guess. I didn’t even know they were pants at first till it was pointed out.



I wasn’t really impressed with anyone else to be honest, like I  saying. They just were basic dresses. I didn’t see the MET theme in them.

I will show you a few I liked though.

We have Kristen Stewart in Chanel. I think she looks so hip,young, and cool.

Sienna Miller in Gucci. She always looks stunning to me.

Alexa Chung in Thankoon. I like her jumpsuit. She looks young and cool to me too.

Claire Danes in Zac Posen. I wasn’t a huge fan until I found out it lit up. She didn’t show it on the carpet though, that I saw. I think that is staying true to the theme. She looks like a modern day Cinderella.

Emma Roberts looks cool in Tory Burch. I dig the color and style. It’s very Bohemian.

Freida Pinto looks chic and effortless in Tory Burch too. I’m loving the white gowns.

Selena Gomez looks cool in Louis Vuitton. I like the polkadots with shrunk leather vest.

I like the color tulle of Lorde’s dress. It’s Valentino. I’m not sure what happened to her wrist though.

I love Lupita Nuong’o’s Calvin Klein Collection dress. Fun color and the sparkle. I don’t get the hair though. I read she was inspired by former African American hair styles though.

Poppy whoever (forget her last name) in Marchesa. Looks like a Gatsby dress though. It’s gorgeous.

Last but not least,


I should have made her picture bigger. There’s been some drama over her Met Gala look. She’s usually the face of the event. She always dresses on tee with the theme. Now a lot of people don’t like her look. They don’t get it.

I kind of agree with them. I like it. She showed the back on Instagram. She had her hair pulled half up with a black bow and the bodice looked like a corset so it had some lacing in the back.

I guess she was inspired by the play Hamilton. It’s a new show about Alexander Hamilton, so you can see how she got inspired by that time period.

She got flack for it and defended it saying that she wanted it to be about the technology of the hand,the workmanship…something along that line. I just don’t think it’s for this event.

I love SJP though and normally love everything she wears, especially her Met Gala look. I do think it’s cool how she thought of an original idea and stands out. She’s always been unique and has a strong sense of self. I admire that in her. She takes risks.


I got all the photos off Instyle and they get all the credit. I’ve said it before, but I like there coverage the best.

This is all I have time for now.

Let me know your favorite Met Gala look!

Spades forever!

Stay fabulous!







Those Globes Though-My Favorite 2016 Golden Globes Looks

Hello, hello Headbandits!

I’ve been meaning to post this review of The Golden Globes 2016 red carpet looks for a while and I started working on it when the Globes were actually on, but I haven’t gotten the time to finish it. I thought I better hurry since The Oscars are this Sunday. Here are some of my favorite looks and trends I noticed.




Amy Adams in Atelier Versace, Angela Bassett in an unknown orange gown, Giuliana Rancic in Alex Perry.


Taraji P. Henson in Stella McCartney, Laverne Cox in Elizabeth Kennedy, Saoirse Ronan in Saint Laurent, Judith Light in an unknown white suit

Sequins were big:

Uzo Aduba in Talbot Runhof, Juliane Moore in her main squeeze Tom Ford, Jenna Dewan-Tatum in Zuhair Murad, Kate Bosworth in Dolce&Gabanna, and Taylor Schilling in a Thakoon suit (she looks so cool and edgy), Brie Larson in Calvin Klein.

Graphic/Lots of Color:

It was good to see a ton of color this year instead of black. I love color.

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Marc Jacobs, Jaimie Alexander in Genny, Jada Pinkett Smith in Versace, Queen Latifah in Badgley Mischka, J.Lo in Giambattista Vali,and I loved Katy Perry in Prada…the bow is so sweet.


Amanda Peet in McQueen, Leslie Mann in Monique Lhuillier, Corinne Foxx-unknown, Malin Akerman in Reem Acra, and Lily James in Marchesa.

I liked J.Law’s red Dior dress too like how it kind of looks like a crop top and then it had cut outs on the side, but I didn’t like the necklace.

Oh yeah, please note I got most all these pictures at Instyle.com. I think they do the best red carpet coverage. A few I got on Google Images. I do not take credit for any of the images and give it all to the photographers.

Who did you like??

I’ll try to knock out the Grammy’s one before Sunday too!







Robert Burns Scottish Party and Those SAGS

Hello,hello headbandits!!

I went to the sickest party ever last night with a friend who is a friend of the host.

I don’t even know where to begin. I ate so much food. It was a buffet only dreams are made of. They had everything-ham, turkey, KFC chicken, lots of salads, haggis, etc. etc. I didn’t try the haggis though.

They had a room full of wine and expensive cheese-the cheeses were AWESOME especially Cougar Gold (a local fav that I just tried last night). The had a Scotch tasting room with big fish bowl glasses. I didn’t even drink. My firends tried to get me to. I don’t have much experince with alcohol or like it much for that matter. I had it in the big glass but it was confusing on how to get it down. It touched my lips and burned and I had enough-haha!

I just had fun conversing with the different people. I met this Ryan Reynolds look a like with a beard who had the best taste in literature. I’m talking Ginsberg, Thoreau, Emerson,David Foster Wallace, Salinger, and on and on. It was a treat talking to someone with such taste in lit. It’s hard to find people with such great taste in literature who isn’t in college. I really enjoyed talking to him.

Then I LOVED the Burns reading. It was so much fun. I didn’t know it was a thing at this party. People came prepared to read one of his poems. It was a competition of sorts. You were supposed to do it in a Scottish accent but I didn’t know how.  Next year I will come more prepared but the host let me read one out of his Burns book.  It made me miss my college days because we used to do readings all the time. I really wanted to do it to win a prize hahaha but it was fun too. I won a pair of  sweet tartan mugs. Heck yah! Afterwards a lot of people said how well I did. The host even said I did so well and I got a personal invite back from him for the following year. Pretty cool for a novice like me. 

 Then a group of us downstairs were just shooting breeze and telling jokes…..jokes! I forgot how much fun it is to just sit around telling jokes. Used to do that with my cousins as kids.

Def have more stories like how the host thought I was double fisting drinks in red solo cups, but it was just water in one and short bread cookies in the other (homemade-OMG SO GOOD). LOL I live for nights like this. Thanks for the invite Dan (a co-worker). This is what life is about…connecting. It was super super fun. 

I met some cool  people. This one gal I met was so bubbly and had a huge personality. She asked if I was an artist and I said yes. Then she said I was a fairy. She said I had good energy and was bubbly and vivacious and will go far in life.:)

This is what I wore. Most all of it is thrifted but the tee is Gap and the headband is Rue21. So fun!! Bunny not included. It’s my friend’s Sarah’s, Elizabeth Bennett aka Lizzie Boo (that’s what I call her). She’s a doll.

burns night

Here’s before the night during the day: me and Ruthy just chilling.

We match!

baby ruth

The Friday before. This past Friday. I finally found french macaroons!! It’s hard to find them in my city. We are big but small compared to some. We aren’t no NY or LA. Omg they were so cute and tasty.


Great weekend.

Hey! Did you watch the SAGs?? I thought they were on the 30th but they have all the outfits last night so maybe it’s just filmed and showed later.

I’m still gonna do a Globes recap, but here are my favorites for 2016 SAGS:

In no particulat order:

  1. Ana Farris in the red Naeem Kann gown. I love the shape and color. I like how it’s a vintage style but with a modern twist with the slit.
  2. Kristen Wig in Roland Mouret. I love when someone does a pant at an event like this. She just looks super edgy and cool.
  3. Sofia Vergara! I LOVE this. She noramlly does the same va-va-voom shape and dress. This is still the dress but it’s usually sequin or something. I love the fresh take on the shape she always goes for. That color is divine.
  4. Brie Larson in the powder blue high slit Versace. I just love the high slit, color, and shape. It’s innovative and fresh to me.
  5. Emilia Clarke in the hot pink full skirt,deep v ball gown. Love the vintage shape, again, but with a modern twist.
  6. Rachel McAdams in the Elie Saab champagne and lace crop topish with full skirt. She looks so fresh and cool.
  7. Uzo Aduba in the emerald green glitter Zac Posen. Reminds me of the Emerald City. Looks stunning on her.

*all SAG photos from instyle.com and I give all the credit to the photographers there.

Who were your  favs?? The trends I saw, which make me so happy, were:

cut outs

high slits on one leg

deep v’s almost done to the belly button but someone they looked tasteful.

a lot of form fitting column type dresses.

ahhhh I LOVE all the color too. They had tons of color at the Globes too. It’s nice for me because I get bored of black all the time. I’m glad some are taking risks.

I have some honorable mentions too. It’s actually longer than the main list lol.

  1. Naomi Watts in the blue flower column dress with black sash around the waist. It was Burberry. She always looks great.
  2. Juliane Moor in the Givenchy lime green sequin dress. I just wish it was a big tigheter.
  3. Saoirse Ronan in the long sleeve blush speckled long sleeve Michael Kors dress. She looked effortless. I dug her messy hair too.
  4. K. Shipka Erden. The madmen girl! I never watched the show. She wore a Erdem dark purple sweetheart strapless ball gown with silver flowers. She looked great.
  5. C. Brownstein in the tea length grey-silver gown with faint graphic print and deep v that is covered by sheer material.
  6. Marissa Tomei in Zuhair Murad’s long sleeve v-neck ruched hunter green gown with the sequins. Very pretty.
  7. Eva Longoria in Julien Macdonald. It was more of a army green. long sleeve deep v studded and exposed skin slits. Column dress style. She looked great.
  8. J. Pare in Kaufmanfranco. Black silt dress. Very interesting siholette. It had a high necklace with no sleeves of sorts. Cut outs on the sides of her stomach. But the front had the cut out and it flared out in an A-line style and had pockets. Very cool and unique.
  9. January Jones in Schiaparelli Haute Couture. The mint green chiffon dress was stunning. Very ethereal. It had too much fabric though.



I will try to do the Globes recap here soon. I have it all written down.


Thanks for reading.


Stay fabulous.


Spades forever!









I want to Forgive but I can’t Forget You… I’m Scared You’ll Forget About Me

LC cry one tear


Do you ever just cry a single tear about people who aren’t in your life anymore? I mean sometimes it happens. You just grow apart or are pulled apart by forces you can’t control. It makes me really sad though sometimes. Usually at night.

I was thinking about the last guy I dated. Read about him here. I kind of miss him even though he was a little mean to me at the end. I don’t know much else to say about him. I don’t think he’s a bad person. Does he miss me? I have no idea. He’s going through stuff and it’s not the right time for him to be in a relationship. I had a good time with him when he was being nice and I miss how goofy he was.

The title of this post is a mix of quotes. The first part is a play on LC from “The Hills” when she is so hurt by her former best friend Heidi. She’s like, “I want to forgive and forget you.”

But for me, it’s hard to forget people. I want to forgive him, but I can’t forget how he made me feel (that’s also another quote-people will forget what you said, but never how they made you feel). I liked hanging out with him. He’s fun,goofy,and sweet, but he isn’t in a good place currently; at least that is what I surmised. It’s hard. I kind of get it. When I went through my stuff this summer, I wasn’t around people much or in a place to be with someone or even want to be with someone.

I like to think people are good at heart and believe he’s a good person. It’s hard though because sometimes you have to see them for who they are at the current moment in time. They might be a good person but not right now. That’s my problem. I see people for who they could be.

And maybe he doesn’t feel that way about me anymore but whatever. Someone once told me, “you have to feel what you feel” and I do.  The time we had was fun and sweet and I guess I have to appreciate it for what it was. And sometimes that might be all the time you have with someone so just go with it.

But it makes me sad that we still can’t have more times like that.

The other part of the title is from John Mayer’s “Edge Of Desire.” I used it in another post too, but the best part of the song is, “There I just said it I’m scared you’ll forget about me.” I think that part is so honest and to the point and really resonates with me. I think when you drift apart from people for whatever reason, that is always in the back of your head. Don’t forget about me. Read the lyrics here. It’s kind of a heartbreaking song but I like how real it is and it’s a true condition of life whether is be a breakup of friendship, significant other, etc.

This also reminds me of that line in the movie “Stand By Me.” It’s like (more or less), “friends come and go like busboys in a restaurant.”

It is sad and I don’t know what to make of it. It’s happened before for me with friends. It used  to be really hard for me. But people grow and change and I guess I have to accept that.

Still, my heart breaks a little that I might not see him again. I truly wish him the best. Maybe he isn’t for me. Maybe it’s not the right time. Maybe I will never see him again. Maybe it will never be the right time.

But I can smile and appreciate the moment in time we did have. That time will never change.






2015 In Pictures


Here’s some of what I had go down in 2015 in picture form.



brooklyn bridge tat


My best friend died the second week or so of December 2015. He was only 25. He had a torn aorta that was undetected. It is tragic really. I got t his tattoo for him. He and I both love New York. Lucky for him, he got to go at the end of September 2015,maybe early October. This is a tatto oof the Brooklyn Bridge, a personal favorite of mine. In rom coms there’s this thing where couples plan to meet on the Brooklyn Bridge like if they are fighting and want to forgive and forget what had happened and start over. They meet in the middle of the bridge and that means it was meant to be. A little diff context but this is for James Wiecks. We both love NY. I’m glad he got to go before he passed. I know one day we will meet again though. This is for you buddy. Read the original post here.

I got a bunny! Her name is Ruthy. She is a doll. I just love her. She is so sassy and fun. I got her a week before Christmas 2015, I’d say. She is everything.

Also when I got my Brooklyn Bridge tattoo, I also got two others. I got a semi-colon because I have anxiety and I had a break down in the spring of 2015 after I broke up with my first serious boyfriend. It was hard and I haven’t said much about it on here, but I got this tattoo to remind myself that I don’t have to be defined by my past and that my life is going on. It was so hard during the moment,but I am so much stronger.

Of course I had to get me a spade tattoo!! I love it.


(top left corner) The blue tutu was my 25th birthday. It wasn’t my best birthday but I did wear that outfit to work.

(top middle) I saw weird Al with my brother in 2015. What a fun concert. That was the first time I’ve seen him in concert.

(top right). I cut my hair in late October of 2015. I got rid of 12 inches. After all I went through, it just felt good to move on and start fresh.

(below the tutu pic) I then decided to get a bunch of blonde highlights. I do it in the fall usually. It’s funny because most people go darker in the fall/winter. Not me.

(below the blonde hair pic) I got my nose pierced and a third ear piercing around November 2015. So fun!

(braid picture) I got really into braids at the end of 2015. I can’t do them myself but lately I enjoy getting them done. I can usually get them done for $15-20 bucks.

(bottom pictures) My first real design. It’s basically an unconventional (made out of paper, etc) challenge I did that was at the mall but promoted this New Years Eve event that is big in our town. I got kicked out though because it isn’t “family friendly.” hahah Don’t get it but the place where I live is super conservative. It’s annoying to say the least. You tell me how it isn’t “family friendly.” Some people!


Other things I got into in 2015:

Eminem,some rap. I wish I could rap myself. I think it is such talent. My friend at work, Allen, can spit off a few raps off his head like by other artists. It’s impressive.

Stones. I got into them because my first boyfriend was super into them. He’d always give me rose quartz rocks that he’d find. They are very beautiful. I thank him for that because now I’m super into stones but especially turquoise. That is my all time fav. I have a collection going on. It’s just something I never really marveled at before him.

Booties. I mean I know they’ve been around for a while but especially in 2015, end of 2014 I got into them a lot. You can really wear them year round. They look good with pants, shorts, dresses, ankle pants, etc. I love!

Pants. I know that isn’t new but I used to wear dresses year round. I still like dresses, but I’ve been a little more laid back in the way I dress. I think pants can be so cool.

Hmmm I had a list of other stuff but it’s in my car or somewhere. If I find it, I will update this.

More posts to follow!


Stay fabulous!

Spades forever!







I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe

Hey there headbandits.

This is a more serious post. I guess. I dated three guys in 2015. The one was my serious boyfriend (ha or serious to me) that I write about quite a bit. The other was just a week long fling (more on that later) and the third was about a month and a half-two months, I think.

I’m kind of sad about it but sometimes people aren’t ready or the timing is off or maybe they weren’t right for me in the first place.

So I wasn’t even going to go out with him in the first place but then I was just like, what the heck. I’m glad I did because we really hit it off. He was just chill,goofy, and fun to be around. Like me. I really liked how goofy he was. He was sweet too and could cook. I could tell he was raised like me. Our first date was ice skating. It was so fun and he could skate. Ice skating is one of my favorite things to do and it’s hard to find a guy who will do it. He liked tennis like me too and yeah we hung out quite a bit for a week. One of his favorite movies is Wimbledon and I love that movie too, so we watched that. “Love means nothing in tennis. It only means you lose.”-from the movie. It confuses me for sure but I think in life love means you win.

We seemed to be getting along and maybe it was too much at first for him but then he freaked and said he couldn’t do this and how I didn’t want to be with him because he was too emotional and blah blah blah. Had stuff going on,stuff to work on. I don’t know, it made me mad more than anything because I just thought it was a bunch of excuses. If something is working, I say go for it. Being with someone is always a risk and I’m willing to take the risk to see if it works. If you don’t, you’re holding yourself back, I think anyways. So then I was just like, “ok. just forget about me then.”

I didn’t mean it literally. It’s from a song-“Let it Go” by James Bay. I guess he took it literally. He deleted me off facebook and wouldn’t take my calls. Come to find out later, he blocked my number.

It bothered me because I just thought he was scared and running. I needed to see him again and talk to him, so I wrote him a letter. It was nice and sweet. I didn’t think he’d answer it honestly. I thought he’d throw it. I was basically like, “hey don’t be scared. Stuff happens. I’m not perfect either. I want to be there for you.”

Well he answered it via facebook. He messaged me on Christmas. It was cute really. We hung out on Christmas night and it was good to see him. He said he blocked me because I told him to forget about  him. Ok, fair enough, I thought. Makes sense.

When someone tells you who they are the first time, believe them.

Then some weird stuff happened on New Years Eve and the day after. He pulled away again and said sorry again. I forgave him.

We hung out for a week and had a good week, I thought. I was sick and he took care of me. We got into “Breaking Bad.” That show is so insane.

Then I had a dream that had him in it. It was weird haha and had us doing illegal activities lol but the basis of it was that he was running away again. In real life, I wondered if it had any merit to it. I asked someone who studied psychology and she said sometimes dreams are what are subconscious knows to be true but our conscious doesn’t want to admit it.

I guess I always knew he’d run off again. When you’re so that back and fourth, it’s bound to happen again. I guess I knew there was always a time limit with us. I was ready, he wasn’t. I didn’t want to admit it though. I guess I believe in him more than he believes in himself.

The last time he left got pretty ugly. He said some hurtful things to me. He used something that is very personal to me against me. It was such a low blow. I guess he’s just acting out but it’s no excuse. It hurts so much just because I know he’s better than that and I know he was raised better. He’s a child though right now. I’m an adult. It hurts to because he supposedly has been hurt a lot in the past; he knows better. He shouldn’t treat someone like that. No one should.

As much as I like him and care about him, I can’t do it. Not if he keeps pushing me away and doesn’t want someone who is caring.

Did I take it personally though?….No. A year ago I would have. But I know much more this time around and I know when people act like that it’s not about me. It’s about the issues they have with themselves. It does not excuse the behavior, but I know I did nothing wrong and treated him so well. It’s on him now and his conscious.

Do I want to be with him?…Yeah. It hurts.

Is he the one for me?…No. Not with that attitude.

The whole thing was like a rom com honestly.

The thing is I know who I am and I am confident. I will not let someone speak to me that way and I hope he learns that he can’t treat people like that. It’s disgusting.

Would I ever be with him?….Who knows. Maybe he grows up in a few years. But I’m not waiting around and honestly I can forgive him but it’s hard to forget. The damage is already done.

Still it’s hard when you see a spark between someone but they don’t believe in themselves enough. But it’s not the right time, place, or even the person for me.

Growing up is hard. But fun. I learn so much about myself through other people and the experiences I have.

I know I’ve been hurt before, but I’m not letting it stop me try again for love or whatever.








More on that 2015…


I forgot to tell you some funny stuff that happened to me in 2015.


  1. I got stalked on vacation at my hotel by cops and apparently someone called them on me because I was “driving erratically.” I was going the speed limit. Apparently that isn’t cool where I was. Then the cops weren’t talking to me they were talking to my mom because they thought I was too young. It was me and yes, that was my car. I was pretty mad about it but it’s funny now.
  2. I got pulled over again here where I live for “driving erratically” again. I was messing with my radio, which don’t do kiddies, and I guess I swerved a little in the outside lane. I didn’t recall that or think it was a big deal. I was in the far right lane and I see people all the time going over the line just to have more room. The cop thought I was a heroine addict….that was a new low for me.
  3. I got kicked out of a local design competition for not being “family friendly.” It’s ridiculous. I will share a picture soon. Where I live is very conservative and, to me, what I made is what people are wearing now in fashion. It’s going to be funny as heck when I’m a famous designer one day. It’s actually funny because it’s more or less an unconventional challenge and I made a crop top with a long skirt and a peplum. I am unsure how that isn’t “family friendly.” Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating that absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will, like MLK JR. says. I really relate to that quote in situations like that. I was having fun with it and being creative. I guess uniqueness and being an individual isn’t appreciated where I live. I will NEVER apologize for being myself and having a point of view.


There were probably other stories but those are definitely what I remember most.







Goodbye 2015

Hello,hello headbandits!

Sorry I still haven’t done any outfit posts. I haven’t been snapping too many pics of what I’m wearing. I’m just living life I guess and forget. I may have a few though.

Hopefully you had a good New Year and it’s starting off good. I’m going to do a quick recap of my year. I changed and grew so much. It was a good year for the most part just the middle was terrible and I hated it. The hardest thing happened to me. I never thought I’d get through it. I still haven’t’ written much about it. I don’t like to think about it. I will eventually but I still think it’s pretty fresh.

My year of 2015:

  1. Bought myself a new car. It’s a 2013 and black. So so cute. I’m not saying what kind it is though because I don’t want to get stalked. haha! I’m really proud of this purchase. I bought my car before this one too but it was used and I put so much money into it. It wasn’t worth it anymore.
  2. I had my first serious relationship. It was quick in terms of time frame,but it got serious fast. I’ve written about it quite a bit on here if you’ve been following along. It was hard because I got my heart broken. It was rough during the time because I had never felt the emotions of it all. Being a couple, losing it all. I’ve learned so much from it though now and see it in a different light looking back. It’s always harder in the moment. My ex and I are still friends now. For a long time I couldn’t talk to him. I will always care about him and always hold a special place in my heart for him.
  3. I had a break down mentally after we broke up. That’s the hard thing I’m talking about but it’s hard to write about still. I took time off work for a while just because I totally lost it….more on that later if I can. I actually lost my job for a bit because I wasn’t better by the time I was supposed to be back,but I fought to get it back.
  4. I lost 15-20 pounds during the time I dated my first boyfriend and during the aftermath, but then I gained it back. I just don’t eat when I get anxious. I’m better at it now.
  5.  I had the worst summer of my life but I finally got better around October and had a pretty great fall and winter.
  6. I cut my hair. I think I got 12 inches cut off. It felt good. I dyed it blonde. Well I got a bunch of highlights but it’s basically pretty blonde. I do it every now and again.
  7. I turned 25. Wasn’t my favorite birthday because I wasn’t in the best of spirits, but I feel like the rest of the year made up for it.
  8. I got my nose pierced. It’s actually really cute. I just felt like it. My friend said I would look good with it and I was like, hey that’s true so I just did it.
  9. I moved out. It’s so fun decorating and buying house things. It’s like fashion for your home.
  10. I got a third ear piercing.
  11. I got 3 tattoos. I will share pics soon.
  12. I got a bunny. Will shares pics of her too. She’s so cute. Her name is Ruthy. She’s strawberry blonde in color. Very beautiful. She’s just a baby. I love her. She’s sassy.
  13. I started dating more. I basically met my soul mate but then he got scared and ran off 3 times haha! It was basically a romantic comedy. Then he turned out to be a meanie and yeah he’s going through stuff and I just wanted to be there for him but apparently he doesn’t like when people care for him. Whatever. He’ll learn but I’m not going to play his games and put up with that or wait around. It is heart breaking though because he’s just acting out but still it’s no excuse. It hurts too because I know he was raised better than that and know he’s better than that. He’s just doubting himself now and going through a rough patch.
  14. I dated another guy too and we really hit it off. Maybe another soul mate. Then he got scared too. I don’t know what guys are afraid of haha! But he ran off too.
  15. My best friend died unexpectedly. He had a problem in his heart that was undetected until now. He just couldn’t be brought back. I’m still having a rough time with it. It doesn’t make sense.



It was a pretty eventful year. I feel like I changed so much and grew. It was also a really hard year. I think one thing I really learned in 2015 was to speak up and stand up for myself…especially in a relationship. Also,before in relationships when something went wrong, I took it really hard and so personally but really what I’ve finally learned is that it’s more about the other person and their issues than it is about me. It took me a long time to learn that but now I’m glad I have. I don’t take rejection so hard because I know it’s not me. I’m also really proud of myself because I may have been hurt in the past but I’m not afraid to try again for a relationship. I’m not scared to take the risk. It will pay off one day.

How was your 2015?

Did you see the Golden Globes?? I’m going to do a post about that too soon with pictures and stuff but for now, here is my top fav five. There was a lot of color and pattern this year. It makes me happy.

  1.  Amy Adams in the orange Atelier Versace gown. It looked so lush with her hair color too.
  2. Taylor Schilling in the black glitter Thakoon suit. Very edgy.
  3. Julianne Moore pretty much always wears Tom Ford. I loved her long sleeve navy sequin gown.
  4. Queen Latifah in the tiffany blue Badgley Mischka chiffon gown with the cape. Very ethereal.
  5. Jaimie Alexander in the black,green geometric print open back dress. So cool.


Stay fabulous!

Spades forever!








Top Trends Of 2015

Hey guys!

Thought I’d do a look back on all the top trends of 2015. I couldn’t think of a lot really. I think we’re still wearing stuff from other seasons and even way back when, but that’s fashion. This is just what stuck out in my mind for 2015. If you think of anymore, definitely comment because I had a hard time thinking of some.


  1. This was definitely the biggest one: Athleisure. Basically chic work out wear that you can wear outside the gym. I loved it. I still love it. I definitely participated. I will show a few examples.  Those grey pants with the pin stripe down the side are definitely a favorite pair of pants. I like how you can dress them up with booties or down with sneakers.

athleisure2015atheleisure 2015 twoathleisure2015 three


2. White sneakers was a big thing. I don’t have a picture, but I just got a super cute slip on pair from Gap that I love. I really liked the look. Kendall Jenner would wear them a lot. I think it looks so chic. The white all stars Cons are pretty effortless too. I’ve been thrifting for a pair at the thrift store but haven’t had luck yet. You can even wear them with a dress and I think that looks really hip,street,edgy. I like her pants too!

kendall jenner white sneaks

3. I think the 90s have always been a thing like grunge and stuff, but I noticed it especially in jewelry/hair. Those plastic chokers have been making a comeback and people are loving the half up pony look (me included). I used to wear those plastic chokers in elementary school. I won’t be wearing them again personally haha.

khloe half up pony     asos 90s choker


90s girl

4. Designer sneakers? Wasn’t that a thing? I feel like it was. It could have been a continuation from 2014 too. I remember they had those ugly chunky sandals too kind of like Birkenstocks…not a fan personally. I think Celine made a bunch.

chanel sneakers

5. Cut outs? I know that’s been a thing for a while too. But this summer, where I live, I noticed a lot of back cut outs or like back openings in shirts. I didn’t participate.

Something like this or a lot less in your face but they were definitely more towards the back and not in the front,sides,or shoulders. At least where I live anyways:

back chat cut out 2015

6. I think chambray was still a thing. I enjoyed wearing it head to toe personally.

7. Those furry key chains from Prada or Fendi or wherever. I just got one similar today at Macy’s.

fuzzy keychains

Please note got this picture at this blog so the credit goes to her and she has a fun DIY: https://jemappelleshen.wordpress.com/2015/06/11/diy-oversized-fur-keychain/


That’s pretty much all I could think of. Everything else was from a different year or nothing new really. If you think of anything else, tell me!